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 Post subject: A little joke to get you through the day
PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 12:53 pm 
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Posts: 1031
An Old Jamaican man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his Yellow Yam and Sweet Potato Garden , but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty badly because it looks like I won't be able to plant my Yellow Yam and Sweet Potato Garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me....Love, Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son:

Dear Dad,

Don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the bodies.

Love, Vinnie

At 4 a.m. The next morning, CID agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son:

Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant
The yams and potatoes now the ground has been dug up. That's the best I can do under these circumstances

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Four things you can't recover: The stone..... after the throw, The word...... after it's said, The occasion..... after it's missed, The time..... after it's gone.


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 Post subject: Re: A little joke to get you through the day
PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 1:02 pm 
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Joined: Tue May 19, 2009 1:21 pm
Posts: 71536
A man walks into a bar with a frog sitting on his head.

Bartender: "What's the deal here?"

Frog: "I need some help getting this growth off my ass."

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Image The race doesn't always go to the swift and the strong but that's the way to bet.


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 Post subject: Re: A little joke to get you through the day
PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 3:30 pm 
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Joined: Tue May 19, 2009 12:33 pm
Posts: 2651
For the golfers:

Guy kisses his wife goodbye in the morning, heading out to play 18 holes at the local club, tells her he'll be home around 3pm. Well, next thing you know it's getting past 7pm, then 8pm and his wife is beginning to worry. finally just before 830pm he rolls in. His wife asks "What took so long, I thought you would be home by 3pm.". "Horrible day honey", "right before we reached the first green, old harry had a heart attack and died right there". "Oh my god" his wife exclaimed, "How come youre just getting home now?"

"well" explained the husband, "every hole was hit a shot, drag harry, hit a shot, drag harry"


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 Post subject: Re: A little joke to get you through the day
PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 3:35 pm 
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Older gentleman goes in to see his doctor, complaining that he can't hear so well out of his right ear. His doctor takes out his little scope, looks in the mans ear and goes to get a pair of tweezers. he returns and pulls out a suppository from the old man's ear. He notices that the old man is now smiling, and asks "Must feel better huh?"
"No" replied the old man, "now I know where my hearing aid is."


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 Post subject: Re: A little joke to get you through the day
PostPosted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 11:35 pm 
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English pipper that had me rolling many years ago (and still does):

An elderly lady sees the doctor with pains in her private parts. The doctor examines her, is puzzled, and requests a urine sample for her next visit in three days.

Three days later the woman walks very carefully into the doctor's office with a 5-gallon stew pot filled to the brim with her urine. It's flapping over the sides. She plants the pot upon his desk.

Doctor: "Good Lord, woman, you didn't walk the streets with that, did you?"

Woman: "Of course not, Doctor, I took the bus."

_________________
Image The race doesn't always go to the swift and the strong but that's the way to bet.


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