The other night I went to bed alone while safe, sane and sober. Before I could doze off a creature jumped into my bed and flopped while ramming a rump into my left hip. It was the momcat and we both went to sleep but before I could go to sleep I had to rub her skull, neck and shoulders.

As a geezer I sometimes have to get up in the middle of the night since my prostate is the size of North Dakota and is up against my bladder and I need to pee. I got out of bed on the wrong side and flipped my blankets and comforter over the momcat. When I got back into bed I took back the blankets and comforter and that made the momcat angry. She liked being buried under blankets on a cold winter's night. I split the blankets with her and covered her with most of the comforter.

I'm just not having good times in bed with girls anymore.

literally...I could use a slang epithet to describe your relationahip with the Momcat...#@#%^whipped!

The wife has described my situation in that manner.