I am still reading cat books. As an old fart who has grown up with dogs and owned dogs my entire life I figured it was time to learn about cats after one young female seems to have taken over my life after my son brought her into the house last October for a meal and a tour of the downstairs saloon during a day of races.

Anyway, Mister Mittens is here forever now. Mister Mittens is a female but my wife had her name set until Mister went into labor.

Fast forward: It's dark outside and Mister Mittens jumps into bed with me before the dawn. With no claws out she works my bare leg one/two, one/two and on and on with her front paws. This is the way a cat gets your attention gently without drawing blood with teeth and claws. This is known to cat lovers as "kneading".

When you awaken and tell the cat to "get the f*&$k outta here" the cat will often often walk over to your head and give you several gentle head butts. This is known as "bunting". The cat knows that your head is 20 times bigger than her head but she's just trying to send a message that she wants breakfast.

You come out of bed looking for a blade or a pistol while the cat jumps off the bed and walks into the kitchen and sits by her feed dish like nothing has happened.

And then you begin to understand and love cats.

And then you feed the goddamn thing.

I woke this morning with two huge green feline eyes staring at me from less than a foot away. Then I got the head "nudge". I got up and the cat raced off to the kitchen where she was waiting for me to serve breakfast. With her three kittens all lined in a row.

Oh, yeah. Mom's getting spayed later this month.

My wife tells me that the kneading is what kittens do when they are nursing and it helps stimulate milk flow from the queen.

Little Chaos is doing really well and spends the day playing with my older cat. Like my kids he has a ravenous appetite.

We miss Chaos. He would sneak under my easy chair, swat the back of my bare foot with his claws and run like hell while I screeched and cursed him out.

Yes when the kittens nurse, they knead Mom's belly with their front paws to stimulate milk flow. The more I learn about cats the more I am fascinated by them. God bless my public library - I go there every three weeks to return and fill up on books. Best tax dollars any community can spend.

Now going on ten weeks of age Mister Mittens rarely lets her kittens nurse and when they try she'll usually get up and walk away. She has a clock and it's telling her that her Mom duties are mostly done and yet she will happily share her feed dish with any or all of them. She also plays with her kittens and taught them all how to use the litter box and how to apply the "death bite" across the throat. Just like my cat books tell me, watching a Momcat raise kittens is just like watching a lionness raise her cubs on the National Geographic Channel.

I have some feelers out for the adoption of Mischief and I'm begging the bride to let me keep sweet little Shiloh (the runt of the litter) as well as Trouble (the monster of the litter) to keep Mister Mittens and me company. She's concerned about having three cats but as an old retired fart I tell her I can clear the living room and move all the cat stuff to the downstairs saloon and kitchen. Taking care of 5 wasn't bad and 3 well-behaved soon-to-be neuterd cats should be cake in comparison. It's been over 40 years since I've been involved with a cathouse but I see the irony in this.

Just this morning Trouble and Mischief tried to nurse. Mom let that go on for about a minute or so before she got up and laid down someplace else. Only Trouble followed her and again began looking for milk. Mister Mittens rolled on him and bit his neck and ear before he yelped and ran off. He came back a few minutes later and his Mom hugged and licked and carressed him but he stayed away from her underside.

Cats communicate very well.