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 Post subject: I Need Better Stories
PostPosted: Wed Jun 24, 2009 8:07 pm 
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Joined: Tue May 19, 2009 1:21 pm
Posts: 71536
The wife came home today and understood immediately that I had had a few libations.

Wife: "You were broke this morning. How did you get beer?"

Me: "Around noontime a crazy black man with a stolen case of beer on his shoulder ran by the house with an Irish cop chasing him and gaining ground. Realizing that the cop was closing, the black man dropped the case of beer on our lawn as he was passing the house and sprinted away. I was afraid that the warm weather would cause the agitated beer to expand, explode, and maybe hurt small children and women who could be passing by. So I brought it into the house for safe keeping."

That one didn't work for certain. Next time I'll use an illegal alien as the thief and a black cop for the good guy.

I used to be quick with a quip and a good yarn as a young man with the wife but I need help now.

Happily, the bride won't talk to me this evening. When angry I get those eyes from her, the 'green daggers', but never a nag or a rant or a raised voice from that girl. She clams up when pissed. I understood well decades ago that being quiet is the best way to avoid conflict but 1/8 Pole's Mom has it down to a science that I absolutely adore. And I learned from my father many years ago that being a gentleman at home and/or in a saloon is the best way to avoid a bad and disappointing evening.

I could use some better bad stories, however.

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Image The race doesn't always go to the swift and the strong but that's the way to bet.


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