OK, I'm a dirty filthy old slob and I should be taking better care of the kitchen while the bride recuperates from surgery. I'll be on it in the morning but it's rough with my son being a worse slob than I am. With that said, the tomcat Trouble had no problem sniffing, scoping, and working the cushion on a new kitchen chair with his paws. This afternoon he decided to give it the ultimate test. With a tribe of cats rolling around I am never caught short of surprizes.

Tested and it passed!

Remember not to sit on him!

Wooley, I just petted the momcat Mister Mittens at 11 p.m. She was lying on her side in the cat bed on the sofa.

I got three legs upon my hand to push me away (no claws). I went to pet her head and she bit me gently with no intent to draw blood. She's a wonderful spayed housecat but she's still got some "street cat" in her mind. She's not always thrilled with a human grope like her son and daugher are.

She's the only cat here that "kneads". She will do that to me before dawn gently to wake me up.

She's the only cat here that I can wake up to that's less than two inches from my face and breathing into my face with green eyes staring into my eyes, heart, and soul for breakfast. If I reach up to pet her she won't move - her eyes are on a mission.

When I roll out of bed to take the morning leak before dawn Mister Mittens leaps off my bed, gallops down a flight of stairs like a shot, and parks her ass in a sitting position by her feed dish. She understands that human males pee and take some time to lay out some good food before dawn. She is patient but knows that the old guy in the bathroom is coming out for a good 'feed'. No excitement is shown - the cat or cats will simply sit like they were waiting for a bus.

Now go feed the cats something they don't like before dawn. If the cat or cats don't like what you have laid out they will sniff at it and maybe pop a paw at it - but they won't eat it. It doesn't matter what it is - Premium Cat Food be damned. If the cats don't like beef they won't eat it. None of my cats like beef - only only one will eat turkey but all three gobble fish. If they don't like it, the housecats will go back to bed and slowly starve to death while sleeping providing you keep the thermostat at 70 in January.

I'll be 63 in a few weeks and when young was always warned about a girl that could grab you by the BBs and make your life difficult. I have a human girl for almost 38 years and I'm OK with that. I'm thinking those guys were talking about female cats and the tomcat that just got caught in the shuffle.