At the age of 63 one would think that I have been around the block a few times and that as an old Marine and husband of almost 38 years I have been with young girls once or twice. And that I have a brain. And that I could handle a young female.

You could be wrong.

This evening when I packed it in with Mountaineer and started to go to bed the momcat Mister Mittens was upstairs and crying for attention. I thought she was truly hungry.

Mister Mittens and I go downstairs and I peek into my wife's bedroom. I see the tomcat Trouble and his sister Shiloh all rolled up and sleeping happily. I tiptoe back to the kitchen and I prepare a great fish dinner #2 for Mister Mittens. I'm by the sink as I cut the fish into chunks.

I turn around to serve the momcat Mister Mittens and I see three cats staring at me. You can fart or set off explosives near a cat's head while it's asleep and it won't move if it's brain isn't interested with the data.

Trouble and Shiloh jump Mom's fish dinner:



The momcat Mister Mittens plows into the extra food I lay out:



The cats play me like a I have a turnip wagon in the driveway and that I'm searching the Sears Roebuck catalogue for a pair of 3-dollar shoes.